When's the last time you felt comfortable naked in front of someone, Reader?

If you said never, I get it!

I didn't use to be comfortable naked in front of my partner either, until recently.

Two years ago, I told The Bike Guy to keep the lights on as I slipped off my clothes, bra, and underwear.

This is NOT a weight loss success story.

It's a body image story in progress.

At the height of my dieting days, I had a lot of body shame.

I told myself, "Your thighs are too thick. Your stomach is too soft and round. And your boobs are too small."

Body image has 2 sides.

How you see your body? And how you assume other people see your body?

The story you tell yourself about your body image often reflects how you think other people see your body.

It's shaped by years of messages about beauty, health, aging, and self-worth.

It doesn't matter if the messages were direct or indirect, or where/who they came from. They became your inner dialogue, how you speak to and about your body.

Which means, healing your body image is an inside job.

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The book Body Image Inside Out: A Revolutionary Approach to Body Image Healing, by Deb Schachter, MSW, and Whitney Otto, MA, PCC, is one of my go-to resources.

​You can order a copy here from Bookshop.org (affiliate link)

Deb and Whitney teach us to reframe our "bad body image moments" (BBIMs) into experiences of mindfulness, curiosity, and self-compassion.

Mindfulness is noticing what happens in the moment and what sensations you feel in your body.

Curiosity is observing those sensations and thoughts racing through your head without reaction. It's the pause.

Compassion is the response to your thoughts and body sensations based on the reality of your situation instead of assumptions or judgments.

In their words, "mindful awareness opens the door, curiosity invites us in, and compassion helps us connect with ourselves."

Let that sink in.

I've practiced this for the past year as my belly has become softer and rounder. My food and movement routine hasn't really changed.

I try to observe these changes with curiosity (it's hard, that's ok!).

Is it because I'm 46 and entering late perimenopause?

Or maybe it's my cookie and chocolate fetish, using them to cope with life stress and perimenopause symptoms?

Here's how I apply the reframe from Deb and Whitney: mindful, curious, compassionate.

"I noticed changes in my body over the past year. They could be related to hormone fluctuations, stress, food cravings, or all of the above."

"I do my best to cope with life stress and body changes. Having cookies with a friend after dinner helps me feel connected to something other than life's challenges. Chocolate helps my brain function with less fatigue and brain fog after a restless night of sleep. Are there other coping tools I can reach for? Yes. But the cookies and chocolate are easily accessible for now. I know I can choose other coping tools at any time."​
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Your turn!

Think of a Bad Body Image Moment (BBIM) you had recently.

Then answer these reflection questions:

• What sensations did you feel in your body in that scenario? What critical thoughts came up?
• What else was going on in your life that made it difficult to connect to your body?
• Based on the reality of the situation (not assumptions), reframe the critical body image thought with compassion.
• How can you care for your body the next time you have a BBIM?

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These reflections help you reframe negative body image talk into compassionate curiosity. Not only for your own body. For everybody around you!
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If you feel comfortable sharing your reflections, hit reply!

Let's work on reframing our BBIM together.
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Enjoy the weekend savoring food and your body!

Amanda

PS: The story you tell yourself about your body image often reflects how you think other people see your body. It's shaped by years of messages about beauty, health, aging, and self-worth. It doesn't matter if the messages were direct or indirect, or where/who they came from. They became your inner dialogue, how you speak to and about your body. Which means, healing your body image is an inside job.

Scroll up for 4 reflection prompts to help you deal with "bad body image moments."

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