How's your body image this week, Reader?

Last week, in my friend’s dining room, I noticed a photo of her and her family taken about 7 years ago. My friend's body was different – thinner, younger, stylish.

I asked her how she felt when the picture was taken.

Hungry. She said.

“I was starving in that picture was taken. I wouldn’t let myself eat what I truly wanted. I exercised all the time, trying to achieve a body that I thought I should have. I wasn’t happy, but everyone kept telling me how great I looked."

While my friend grieves her smaller, younger body in the photo, she doesn’t want to go back to that life. She's learning to accept and care for the body she has right now.

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​Last week we talked about how attument disruptors like…global pandemics, kids growing up, empty nests, divorce or separation, death of parents, work stress, etc, affect body image and self-nourishment.

But what happens when the attunement disruptor is your reflection in a mirror or a window, or you see a picture of yourself from “the before times,” before your body changed?

You’ve gained weight, a few more wrinkles, your hair is thinner and grayer, and you don’t feel like yourself.

You look back at photos from your 20s, 30s, and early 40s, and think, "Why didn't I like my body then? I'd give anything to look like that again!"

Learning to find acceptance with your body during perimenopause and menopause is hard work.

Partly because the posts you read about body image on social media suggest you make the GIANT leap from body loathing to body love. That's not body acceptance. That's wishful, unrealistic thinking - not helpful.

Body acceptance is seeing a picture or reflection of yourself and saying, "I don't love how I look, but I want to care for my body because of everything she helps me do and experience in life."​
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If you struggle with body acceptance, especially when you see photos of yourself or your reflection, these reflection prompts from Brianna Campos, LPC, will help.

If you currently work with a therapist or a certified intuitive eating counselor, I highly suggest you talk through these prompts in your next session.

Grieving A Smaller Bodied Photo

Journal Prompt #1

If you’ve come across an old photo of yourself that makes you feel overwhelmed by body distress, I want you to pull it up now. Look at it carefully. Grab your journal and ask yourself:

1. What thoughts did you have about your body when this photo was taken? Did you love your body then? How do they differ from your original thoughts?
2. What do you miss about existing in a smaller body?
3. What, if anything, did you have to do to sustain this body size? Would it be sustainable to exist in that body size again?

Use this prompt to engage with your internal dialogue. Take a deep breath and write out the answers to the questions. Take as much time as you need and allow yourself the space to feel these feelings, without judgment. When you can give yourself the emotional space to reflect on these prompts, you can begin to move forward.

Grieving A Larger Bodied Photo

Journal Prompt #2

If you have the capacity, pull up that picture and grab your journal. Then ask yourself:

• What is the story you’re telling yourself about your larger body?
• Who or what has sown those thoughts or beliefs? How long have you believed this message?
• What memories from this moment do you want to remember when you see this picture?

When I look at the photo above, here’s what I want to remember:

• I want to remember the incredible day I had with my lovely friends.
• I want to remember the body diversity I saw and experienced at the spa.
• I want to remember the beautiful sights & experiences I took in.

Advice from Bri, "I can’t guarantee that this prompt will alleviate all your distress when you look at this photo. But I can promise that the simple act of pausing, reflecting, and making space will shift the way you reframe beliefs about your body and your experiences."

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You can learn more about moving through picture grief in this episode of the Savor Food and Body Podcast with Bri​

Next week, we'll talk about how to heal negative body image from the inside out.

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Until then, get savoring food and your body 😎

Amanda

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PS: How do you look at photos of yourself and not spiral into negative body image thoughts urging you to “get back on track tomorrow, next week, next month” (aka start another diet or rigid exercise plan)? Learn how to move through picture grief in this episode of the Savor Food and Body Podcast with Bri. Scroll up for 2 reflection journal prompts you can do with any photo.